Empathetic listening

Active, empathetic listening is critical if we are to build relationships of trust and solidarity with people we visit. Through listening and showing empathy, we demonstrate we value the people we are meeting and can witness the injustices they face.

Active and empathetic listening is also a powerful tool in providing emotional support. People in detention experience a wide range of emotions: depression, anger, confusion, frustration, fear, powerlessness - not to mention boredom, tiredness, loneliness, and lack of privacy. When we listen well we make space for people to articulate these feelings, which can provide short term relief and support people to find ways of coping with these feelings.

A good place to begin is with open questions, allowing the person you are visiting to steer the conversation and decide what they want to share with you.

Here are some further tips from visitors and those who have been visited:

What can help people feel listened to?

• Demonstrating warmth and openness towards them through our voice and body language

• Repeat back to people what they have said to us, and check that we have understood them

• Watching for and responding to nonverbal cues about someone's emotional state

• Putting aside our own judgements and showing curiosity where you might disagree

• Leaving silences and space for people to share how they are feeling

• Remembering what people have shared with us

What might stop people feeling listened to?

• Asking for lots of detail about people's private lives when it isn't necessary

• Interrupting someone or turning the conversation around to our own problems

• Minimising someones problems or Saying that they shouldn't have the feelings they have

• Responding with judgements about people's lives and decisions

• Being too directive or quick to offer advice - this can exacerbate people’s sense of feeling out of control